The Donald Takes a Nibble Out of Alcatraz with Gator Run-in

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Sources say the former president was spotted on a boat near the infamous island prison, where he allegedly attempted throw somebits to a massive reptile. Witnesses report that Trump perhaps got a little a bit personal with the creature, causing some whispering. The {entireaffair was captured on video, and the footage have quickly gone popular online.

Hot off the Press: The Donald and the Danger Lizards!

A shocking development is unfolding at Mar-a-Lago as we speak/right now/at this very moment. Sources report that former President The Donald has confronted a pack of super creepy lizards, said to be mutated by radiation/the result of government experiments/escaped from Area 51.

Local reporters claim to have seen the former leader grappling with the creatures, wielding a vibrating toothbrush. The situation is still developing/unfolding/sketchy, and we await official statements from the White House.

Stay tuned for more updates on this bizarre event!

Trump's Wild Tour of Alcatraz

Get ready for a wild ride, folks! Trump is hitting the rock/island/prison like never before in a tour/experience/adventure they're calling the Gator Gauntlet. Sources say he's planning on showing off/lecturing about/taking control of the island, packing his best suits. He's even totally plans to put in a gold-plated bidet during his visit. This ain't your grandma's tour of Alcatraz, folks. Brace yourselves!

Crocodile Corrections? Absolutely, Claims President Trump

Folks, lemme tell ya somethin'. This situation down in Florida is gettin' out of hand. They got these giant lizards runnin' amok. And what do they do? Nothing! They just let 'em roam around. But not me, I wouldn't stand for that. We gotta get tough of these beasts. That's why I say we gotta build a special prison - Alcatraz for crocodiles, folks! That's what makes America great, takin' dealin' with the tough stuff.

Bigly Donald's Wild Ride: Presidential GATOR Safari!

This ain't your typical golf course, folks. The President himself is hitting the glades on a wild adventure. That's right, we're talking about Trumphunting for gators. Sources say he's packing his that ridiculous red "Make America Great strange political news Again" beanie and planning on showing those gators who's boss. Will he emerge victorious? Only time will tell!

Can You Believe This?! Trump Goes Cage Diving With Gators

Folks, you are not gonna want to hear about this! The Donald himself, previous Prez Trump, has decided to go on a wild adventure. He's trading his golf clubs for some serious bravery and is jumping into a cage full of hungry alligators! Word on the street that this whole thing was his idea.

What could ever go wrong?? Only time will show.

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